Best Practices and Mediocre Poems

How Might I Convince You I Can Write A Coherent and Beautiful Poem?

“birdsong’s saccharin sign is just ok.

maybe it’s me.”

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it is me. isn’t it?

If a decent painting coincided with my presence what would be the cause?

[insert painting honoring the following properties:


Outside of telling a moving story what else would motivate your belief I could tell one?

Once upon a time I cut and pasted my best teachers’ and the world’s best selling authors previous works cleverly enough to fool automated plagiarism detection software and personnel. The words so beautiful went unnoticed — the words, not enough, required cover letters, email prostration, webform submissions, a twitter grovel and the endorsement of third-degree-removed friends pretending to read my words of others words.

Forced to adapt I joined an online branding company and repurposed my previous project. After several brand team mood meetings we agreed to distribute well-designed classified ads to the general citizenry. A bank of well meaning computers would caption photos of homes beaming sunlight from the window panes onto their For Sale signs with my beautiful words.

“It was the worst of times, it is now the best of times! Trump lowers interest rates. Now is the time to Lower Your Bills. Refi now before you become food for worms, food for worms.”

All in all, this worked out well. My words were read by 17,546,000 Americans, 3.2% of those Americans clicked through to a form asking them about their bank accounts, and I made $76,500 a year as a [copy]writer.

The average novel writer’s annual salary at the time was $23,500 and the average book sold 12 copies, all to moms.

The End.

What proof is sufficient for understanding of wondrous scientific insight?

E=MC², generated by a great man pretending to ride a beam of light. He had crazy hair. He wrote some papers containing others’ mathematics. Less than one percent of all humans to ever walk the earth have read these papers and one percent of the readers understand the others’ math.

Good writing is possible but is it possible for me?

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The most used sentence ever composed — included 1203 times in every copy of Microsoft Word. You should wonder why it is so used. Once you do everything about good writing becomes clear.

One day maybe you or I, dear reader, will compose a sentence of such utility.

Certainly music isn’t something I could make headway, music’s rules too inscrutable and the required talent too great for me to even attempt it.

If this is true then why are musicians going rates so low?

I shall ponder while listening to downloaded mp3s of Smashmouth cover songs.

A Short Word About Branding Strategy Paraphrasing Industry Veterans and Harvard Business Review

“branding’s saccharin sign is red.

best done endlessly repeated.”

Written by

I be doing stuff. and other stuff. More stuff. I believe in infinite regression of doing stuff.

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